Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Heights of Comparison

People have this annoying habit of comparing, dont they? Starting from when a baby is born to the day they die, comparison is almost a part and parcel of life. I think it is at its peak when you are at school. When you show you report card the next question is, ' So what did Shradha score?( Name changed for annonimity.. Well you can read it as Ms. Shradhai also :))'. And this continues in office too where your performance is compared to the others and then "normalized??". Okay this is not what I came here to write about.. It was an interesting conversation with a colleague of mine..

We were having lunch and he suddenly brought in this topic ..

He : There is always a comparison, isnt it?
Me : Yes, Why ? What are you talking about? The appraisal??
He : No, I just had a conversation with my mother yesterday
Me : oh!
He : When I was in school it used to be hard. I was always up against the best. Compared in every way
Me : It happens to all of us , doesnt it?
He : But yesterday was the height of it. She asked me why I wasnt given an onsite assignment while our Neighbour's son went onsite.. How can you reply to this?

Hmm... Somethings can never be answered can it? And I wonder why people compare?

16 comments:

My days(Gops) said...

thts wht i'm wondering !!!!!!
sometimes comparison gives us benefits also.......ex:- call centers, indian working in abroad, etc etc

Arvind said...

comparison is result of reasoning - the sense that we are supposed to solely possess - taking us back to the non-sense post ;)

talking of normalization that is the funniest concept for cutting down on monetary expenses :)

Vijay Ramamurthi said...

This is a dangerous attitude in our soceity. Having gone thru this crap ever since I have my brain working, this attitude shud be put down with an iron fist, be it parents or anybody.

kaushik said...

yup! you are absolutely right...and somehow with the tamil families, the comparision is more often with mathematics and science...donno why
in my house, my dad asks only three question: mathsla evalovu? highest evalovu? baki marks egnga vittai?

Jagan said...

ha ha ..this is really heights of comparison .I have seen parents of my friends do this often ..how long will it take for the kids to compare their parents with other's parents - amma , ravi's dad got him a cool bike . Y dont u gift me one ?

as for my parent ..they never compared me ..i guess they knew am useless ;) ..namma ellam water-sprinkle cases

Seagull said...

Basically I think the best comparison that we Indians do is (gee :D )
1. Rajni Kant vs. Kamal Hasan - FYI, I am a die-hard Rajni fan. So Rajni is always better :P
2. Simran vs. Jyotika (No comments ~ I like Trisha :D)
3. Vijay vs. ...(Well, I think er, no comparison)
4. India vs. America
5. Indian cricket team with everything else
6. Bangalore traffic jams with all other jams
7. Rin Whiteness vs. Surf Whiteness (Basically different shades of white)

Fundamental reason for comparison: Somehow everything that doesn't belong to you is better ;) !

Santhosh said...

I was watching a program on NDTV, and the dicussion was about the discimination in many urban schools where students are assigned to sections (A,B,C etc) based on the marks they score. So, Sec A would be all the smarties and SEC D would be kids who barely passed.

A lot of this comparison gets into our head and as we grow up we start attaching value to the money we make vs. next door neighbour or cousin prasad!

Neema! said...

Hi.Guess how I hit on this site?gooogled the name "karthiks" (which happens to be my brother's name) and voila.here I am.....you seem to be someonelike me.well almost.........cool blog!I hardly blog........I have been trying though for more than a year...cheers...

Vidya said...

@my_days - :) I thought Id get some input rfrom you guys :)

@Arvind - agreed.. I understand it is inevitable but is it necessary is my question..

@Vijay - It is very difficult to be put down..

@Kaushik - he he true.. my mom used to ask me the same Qs :)

@Jagan - ha ha Water sprinkle case

@Seagull - great list..ya agree grass is always greener on the other side

@Santhosh - hmm.. yes it definitely gets to our heads

@Neema - Hey thanx for dropping by..Do try an blog neema :)

Ash said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

yes comparison start doing the rounds at home from the time one is born...well...

sociologically speaking comparison if may be something like gossip is a form of social control and can bebefit one if we take it in the right sense ....but ppl seem to be obsessed with the grass on the other side of the fence that they dont stop comparing itself....

it is bad when it is the only topic of conversation...but it is good too when it is browsed over once in a while and we are at the top...

and lastly, consumerism is a result of comparison ...and ppl do make money out of it ....

Ash

Nanyaar? said...

Comparison, doesnt just happen coz, people dont have anything better to do than that.. It happens when they try to put in more pressure into something thy should try and understand is not happenning!

Vidya said...

People compare because grass is always greener on the other side. I would like to think that every person is unique and that no same situation can be handled in exactly the same way by two people , even if from the same family.
And yet people compare !

This is a universal phenomenon ! :)

Vidya

BTW, Vidya , thanks for your comments on my "Comment" post ! :) Kinda cute !

Sujit said...

Comparison with a positive attitude amkes sense... but not in wrong way.. espicially parents... oh! man.. they compare from anything to everything!!..

Balaji said...

i think parents compare since they think that itll serve as an incentive for us. they're hoping that the next time u'll score higher than sradha just so that u can say "i scored higher than sradha" when they ask :)

Arvind said...

Vidya,

I think it is necessary by-product of analysis - things have to equate, compare, meet - when they dont, they are different :-) -ignoring for the good, bad aspect of the by-product :)

Vidya said...

@ASh - 'gossip is a form of social'- good parallel :)

@nanyaar - hmm.. sounds like you have had a bad experience.. Well sometimes it is allright.. not that I like it..

@Vidya - very true :)

@Sujit - I wonder how you can draw a line between positve and negative comparison

@Balaji - true.. it does serve as an incentive most of the time.. But there are times when we unknowingly pressurize children.. Some take it well, some dont. I think it is our responsibility to see how each child is dealing with it and take corrective action if required

@Arvind - Every action has an equal and opposite reaction is what i think of comparision sometimes.. But yes it is an inevitable by-product of analysis