Monday, January 23, 2006

Hairy Fairy Tale

The first time I entered a Beauty Parlour, I was in for some shock.. Guess thats why men are not allowed, lest they should get scared away and stop looking at girls :D

It was a fine summer day when I decided that I needed a hair cut. I planned to chop my waist length hair to a more managable shoulder length. After a lot of arguments with Amma and crocadile tears I finally walked into a parlour. I dont know why but the parlours are always dingy places.. long winding stairways leading to a narrow passage and at the end of the passage will be a narrow door. Anybody slightly heavier than I am can definitely not enter. (side ways maybe... try pannalam :)

Okay so I go into this place and a really jolly, plump lady with smooth hands, crimson nails and an 'asian paints' face with a jarring red lipstick and an inch thick eyeliner, greeted us at the reception. She looked at me from head to toe.. gauging me.. She gave me this look of 'hmmm.. a lot of work needs to be done on this one..'. She raised her immaculately shaped eyebrow and asked me what I wanted. I told her that I was here for a haircut and her next question was .. " Anything else??" Huh!! what? Dont I look okay??.. I scrubbed myself well this morning when I had a bath.... I polietly said 'No, nothing else"

I was asked to wait as the beauticians were busy with other customers.. I looked around. It was a tiny place, may be a 10-by-10 room, with screens and curtains. On one side, lay a lady who had some mud smeared on her face and henna in her hair.( It looked like she had been to a mud fight..) If not for the cirles around her eyes I would not have been able to identify the right side of her face. :) Another one was sitting on a chair with her hair tied up in a precarious knot, face as white as freshly whipped cream. I think it was cream that was bespattered copiously on her face. She had round cucumbers for eyes. Curious as I was I asked another lady seated next to me what it was . She said it was a face mask... hmm.. good way to hide your face I guess..( vayathukula pogavendiyadu ellam munji mela irunthadu )

A stern looking lady came out of a room with a knife( Then I didnt know it was blunt).Dont ask me what that is used for I dont know.. it sent shivers down my spine. (idu enna kasaapu kadaiyaa?( Is this a butcher's shop??)) Another was bending down on a lady's face with thread held in her teeth and hand and making a jerky movement. The lady below flinching as she performed her ritual. I now know it is called threading which is how ladies get their eyebrows made into a bow.
One lady was sitting in a corner with her feet in water and another scrubbing her feet. I guess that would feel like a maharani!! But no I just happend to see that she was scrubbing with some hard, stone like material.. Poor hands and feet.. This is what they call manicure!! .. Hmm to get that blemishless face u need to go through so much!! ( it reminds me of a scene from My Fair Lady when Elisa comes to Mr.Higgin's house and Higgins sets his maids to give her a bath.. )

I didnt know how long I was sitting there.. maybe an hour.. and then out came a lady and said in a rather irritated tone,' haircut?' I said yes. I said I wanted the hair chopped of to shoulder length. and then she asked me, 'u,v,straight, feather, wedge? which one?'. me gave the blinks to her :) ' What is that?' I asked. Annoyed with my ignorance she explained that they were different styles of haircuts. I said U, Mom said V and An aunty next to us suggested Step.. I dont know what the lady understood, when she finally finished cutting my hair she proudly showed it to me.. I was left with this horrible hair style which was er.. I dont know what it was called but it looked like a combination of all the three styles mentioned. I was throughtly irritated. I had a mop of hair in front and uneven in the end. It was shorter than I had expected.

I did complain but what can you do? You cant stick it back on.. Once cut, its gone.. And so, I had to go around with that nasty hair style for the next three months until I could cut it back again. I had to go back in there to get my hair fixed although I would not have wanted to go back in there ....

PS: Inspiration for this post is a post that I read at Kaushik's Blog :D That one is really really hilarious :).. This post is not done yet.. there will be a sequel :)


Yadhvi said...

:-)tell me about the parlour woes and ignorance! I went for a facial, and the lady did compalin about the rotten state of my face.. She tried removing the 'black-heads' and finally I ended up with a black nose...blood clots or cell damage, am not sure, and my brother calls me 'black-nose' reindeer henceforth!

Vijay Ramamurthi said...

hmm..good one..
mega serial rengukku porathu..
waiting for the sequel :)

kaushik said...

thank god! boys dont indulge in stuff like removing hair frm legs/ hands etc. One me and my frnd tried out veat or vete and it HURT!!!

Hermit Chords said...

Most insightful :) I was always curious about what they did to my mother and cousins when they went into those dingy parlours at the tned of narrow passages...I'm glad I can just walk into a barber shop and say 'short' or 'medium' and then focus on the cricket match!

Ash said...

Another was bending down on a lady's face with thread held in her teeth and hand and making a jerky movement
i never heard any body defining threading that way before it was fun.....

well u ought to read a poem by Craig Raine’s "A Martian Sends A Postcard Home"

ur parlour experince seems akin to that a bit ..

Vidya said...

Yadhvi - :) my mom had a similar experience..

Vijay - Havent started on the second one yet.. but mega serial nu soliteingale :(

Kaushik - FYI male models wax

Kaushik - I forgot to mention that only mega serials are played on the TVs in the parlors :)

Ash - This is just the third person view.. wait for the first person view :D

Arvind said...

About how you stuck it back on ;) :P

Om said...

Where did you have your hair cut? Madras or texas?

MS said...

Hi Vidya!

That was a nice n hilarious narration of a hairy fairy tale :)

***After a lot of arguments with Amma and crocadile tears.....
Yeah gurlz r more of experts @ that when compared 2 guyz :D
BTW shud be 'Crocodile' n not 'crocadile'. If the Crocodile sees that you've spelled itz name incorrectly, it'll certainly start to shed tears, only God knows whether they'll be real or Gurlz' tears :P .....Hey, jus kidding :D

Funny n njoyable xperience shared...thanks...Came here thru Ash's blog.


Nanyaar? said...

For one Im glad Im not a girl and I dont have long hair. the way you explanied things, I think I should ask my little sister to read this.. cant wait for the sequel!

And oh by the way, Im try to grow long hair.. ;)



bikini hair removal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Cool blog. Enjoy reading through your posts. If you are interested take a peak at my site about, and leave a comment anytime.