Sunday, October 29, 2006

Return(ed) Gift..

I went to this family function sometime back and I came back with a stainless steel plate that had a label that said that it cost Rs. 8.. Like this there are numerous plastic and brass figurines of Gods, candle stand, cups or a blouse bit.

Now I dont believe in giving gifts unless it is to a loved one .. but a return gift just does not make sense to me at all.. Okay I can understand if u gift something to a person who has invited you to an ocassion thinking that the gift would be useful to them. But what is the reason behind a Return gift.

Okay lets keep aside the reason for returning gifts. Lets focus on the gifts first.

1. A Stainless Steel plate - Useful in the kitchen.V's opinion - I like things as sets and this one off thing is reallly odd...
2. Brass and Plastic Figurines of God - Show pieces in our showcase or can be placed in the Pooja room.. V's opinion - one is good.. but over a period of time they accumulate
3.Blouse Bits - Can be stitched as a blouse for a sari/ used as cloth for other such clothingV's Opinion - I hardly find people using these in a fashion conscious matching blouse society.. It is almost always recycled.....

Next question .. what do you do with these gifts..

1. Use them - well that was the purpose of the gift but this hardly happens
2. Return them - this is hardly done.. often considered rude.. keep it in the house whether u like it or not..
3. Recycle them - this is the most common method used .. People wait for occasions to recycle gifts.. But then u must be very careful to remember who gave u what and when coz sometimes in a conversation they might probe on the whereabouts of their gift and also be careful not to unknowingly return the gift back to the gifter..
4. Throw them - this cannot be done.. what ever it is they have also spent money buying these gifts....

I dont know why we must give a return gift and why people expect it.. not only expect it but compare their gifts..but then how else do u display your wealth and buying power and ur generosity...

10 comments:

Vidya said...

I think the same way too. If I invite someone to my house warming ceremony and they bring me a gift, I am not going to give them this return gift !!

I think the whole idea is ridiculous. I just don't get it !!

You should see the colors of the blouse pieces that I have received so far !

Vidya

Arvind said...

:-)

There is this concept called "panda maatru murai" - before you interpret it any other way i.e. arcticle-exchange system.

As you can imagine, in the process of devising a social and civil society, our ancestors came up with the idea of "sharing" events in your life with family/friends.

And since you are inviting others to come, be a part of it, they have to return some favor of sorts -and hence they 'gift' - be it a bouquet, a fruit basket or even a biscuit packet ;)

Now, since nothing is free, and mostly so in the olden days, exchange would be more benefical to everyone - i.e. i scratch your back and you mine :)

Now, once something is set in our culture, it is very difficult to unseat it.

What we are seeing is the mindless application of such practises and also the effect of your neighbour's tongue due to non-following :)

Vidya said...

@Vidya - he he.. ya there are soo many of them lying with me too..

@Arvind - yes that may be the reason why people did that.. and I dont have a problem with giving perishables (eg. Vetrilai Paaku) But what I am against is the kutti dabba subba that we get..

and u r right in calling it a "mindless" practice now... But then when can we amend these practices.. Unless somebody starts it is never gonna stop....

Arvind said...

unless somebody "starts" it is never gonna stop.

But gets started now, will be a thing that will be stopped in the future too ;) :D

It is all just a cycle ;)

coolkrishnan said...

Bold post !
It has become a heartless ritual these days...... there is a function in somebody's house, for which u are invited (invited for courtesy)..... u pick something from a fancy store under ur budget..... u don't even think if the person will like it...... infact u don't even care if u liked it ! or else there is the recycle option.....

this is one of the many things humans do just because they live in a society..... There are certain things(not necessarily this one) that humans need to do to keep the society going..... whether they like it or not...... the benefits u get from living in a society is tremendous ..... u need not stich ur own clothes..... u need not cut ur own hair.... etc...... these benefits are quite good when compared to the useless acts that u r expected to perform....... yeah, but sometimes things go too far.......

coolkrishnan said...

recently i visited a famous temple in mumbai - Some things I observed:
- large crowd
- security check at the entrace(like in airports)
- "Beware of Pickpockets" board inside the temple complex
- Policemen near the main deity
- An ambience of an exhibition

I tried hard to create bhakti inside my mind..... i failed miserably.

another heartless ritual - thronging to 'holy places' ..... this one has its roots in 'fear' - if u question such things, god might even punish u :)

Thenraj said...

That is some of the rituals followed in india..

For example...

Usually when we are celebrating some kind of occasions like Birthdays or Anniversary we used to share some sweets with our neighbours. When we give the container containing some sweets they take the sweets and return the container. when u see that it will not be empty. they keep some thing inside as we should not give empty containers..So give all your accumulated gifts like that....

That may be a idea...

gils said...

retur gift concept is something of a hit amidst pre KG paly school kids...dnt worry unga pasangalalaam schoola sepeengalla..appo theriyum...hw expensive bday parties arenu..btw...y sudden vanavas??atha pathi oru post podalaamay :)

Anonymous said...

Option #5:
Donate them.

Vidya said...

Whatever happened to you girl ? You have disappeared off the face of the earth !!

Come on buck up !

Vidya